Heavily Armed Iguanas

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HAI = Heavily Armed Iguanas
#HAI on QuakeNet

The Hidden Theme

Back in the way way back, when MikeyBear and Borg were still trying to adjust to life without hair, the former HAI webby (Archive.org) contained a secret page that could only be found by molesting the elmer fudd style character at the top of the page.

This secret page (there were two!!!) lead to the following:

The HAI Theme tune

To be sung as a team before each match, to the tune of "oh when the saints" to the tune of "when the saints go marching in"

Oh Teds a Cunt,
Oh Teds a Cunt,
Oh Teds a Cunt, Cunt, Cunt, Cunt, Cunt,

Oh Teds a Cunt,
Oh Teds a Cuuuunt,

Oh Teds a Cunt, Cunt, Cunt, Cunt, Cunt.

<Repeat over and over and over...>

Unfortunately never actually sung because HAI never actually played a match, in fact on the only occasion that the clan was all in a server at the same time, the other side didn't show up... GO DEFAULT!

  • This is actually a lie, the theme was sung on many an occassion. Over voicecomms in Tribes 2 matches and training, simply typed out over irc, on voicecomms in Operation Flashpoint and CS games and even when playing Dungeon Siege. It was even sung in chorus by the clan on a rare get together at The Playing Fields. HAI played many games as a clan, but each was short lived and there was only ever 1 victory in a competitive Tribes 2 game. The other clan accussed us of cheating. This led to much laughter among the clan, and saved us from being labelled the worse ever Tribes 2 clan in history.


  1. Had TWO female members (way before the current corporate bullshit trend of creating girl clans to try and boost sales of shit games from essentially defunkt software houses)!
  2. Ranked higher than several other clans in the BWT2L without actually playing.
  3. Several clan members went on to be an integral part of GamesDomain, which wasn't a bad result to get from hanging around on IRC telling jokes and telling everyone else to FO! (those same members would then abuse the ability to run Operation Flashpoint servers!)
  4. Got away with calling TedTheDog a cunt (you try it!)
  5. Congregated at The Playing Fields to be one of the last groups of people to drink there.
  6. MikeyBear losing his cool and actually banning people from an IRC channel (yes Ice this means you!).
  7. Turning FO! into an IRC institution.


  1. Allowed MYstIC G and Ch3tan to join.
  2. See 1.
  3. The ability to wipe out the entire clan in one fell swoop (see image). This could also be considered a high as it was always entertaining.
HAI members attempting to fly in Operation Flashpoint


There were a number of people who had the privilidge of wearing the -[HAI]- clan tag including (in no particular order):

Clan: Heavily Armed Iguanas

MikeyBear | Luap | Bor1s | Borg | SAS | Granny | Rabbit Man 3D | MYstIC G | Grimmy | Whisk | Horus | Opti | Gremlin | Ch3tan | BullyX | BennyBoy | Fanboy | Pac | TedTheDog | Eeii | Meatballs | Specceh | Custard | Shabazz