Difference between revisions of "Dark Age of Camelot"
Revision as of 00:06, 3 August 2006
Okay, so you wee in a jam jar, and your girlfriend is a hairy norwegian biker pretending to be a Valkyrie, but that's fine, because everyone else is in exactly the same boat. Welcome to DAoC. As a player, it is your duty on the forums to adopt one of the following personas:
Person who might as well be just a badly designed bot: Respond to every post with QQ, or "u suck newby" (or try variations - QQ newby, or perhaps u suck! QQ)
Vietnam Vet Syndrome: Believe that you really ARE at war with Midguard/Albion/Hibernia, and that you burn with an indefinable rage that bubbles within you, feeling a little like a mix of madness and cystitus. Froth at the mouth when confronted with an "enemy", and always remind people how rubbish/evil/dumb/prone to raid at ugly AM the other side are. Possibly using the full range that caps lock offers you.
The Intelligent Roleplayer: Putting on your +5 dexterity fishing waders, you trudge through the mire of QQs and newby roasting, occasionally spouting poetry, or trying to arrange a recital of Beowulf in a location that assures you will die in a horrible way. You are notable for your ability not to chew the English language beyond recognition, and also for the fact that every post you make is broken down into chapters.
The Intelligent Olde English Roleplayer: Same as above, but you insist on using "ye" and "thee". This means in real life you have longer hair, and use a chalice instead of a jam jar to wee in.
The Unintelligent Roleplayer: Why not mix Badly Designed Bot, with Vietnam Vet and The Intelligent Roleplayer? Smatter all posts with references to decapitating the enemy, bathing in blood, informing others they are newbies that will die under your sword, but do it all in txt tlk. For example - "OMG<, u r so d3ad! I will hax0r ur head of wit my 3pic sword n drnk ur blood, u gay!" You know you want to follow this path, AVeng3R!
TEH FEMALE: Remind everyone that you are female as often as possible. For example: Which armour is best? I AM FEMALE IN RL. Or... Teheheh... Tehehe... You GUYS! (I am female). Be warned - being TEH FEMALE may cause non TEH FEMALE females to view you as a figure of contempt. This is because they are jealous, because their ovaries are not as l33t as yours.
TEH FAKE FEMALE: Same as above, except hide a willy about your person. In cyber space, it doesn't really matter anyway. Does it?
The Normal Poster: These are needed simply as a token measure to appease EU directives. No more than 1 in 20 posters may choose this path.
Historical Footnote by DaGaffer Have you ever wondered why DAOC and FreddysHouse got together? Well its my fault (sort of). Back in ancient times, when Freddy was Barry, and he had a World not a House, and was owned by an evil corporation, a deal was done to promote a little game called Dark Age of Camelot in exchange for a cut of subscriptions. As a casual aside, I said "oh, and we'll give you a forum if you like" (I was a slave of the evil corporation at the time). "Sure, whatever." said the man in the suit opposite me. a few months later GOA, tired of dealing with irritating things like customers, ran screaming for the hills and we had spawned a monster. Later, When the evil corporation decided he didn't like Barry (or his nice black and purple sister) anymore, a kindly Italian pervert and a small bald man stepped in to save the day. And that, children, is why Freddyshouse is full of people with strange goblin fixations.